Treatment Update

Sorry, it's been a while since I've updated... but I've been feeling great so I  just haven't sat down to write!

I'm back to feeling like a normal human being, now that I'm done with chemo. For some reason, all of my muscles are very sore all the time, like I've just done a hardcore workout, but I haven't. But other than that and no hair, chemo is quickly fading into a distant memory. And my hair is starting to grow back - it never completely fell out, but I've got a 5 o'clock shadow going on where a bunch of new hair is sprouting!

I'm still receiving infusions every 3 weeks, but they're much easier, for 2 reasons. 

1. I'm receiving them at the hospital in Baytown, rather than having to drive into Houston to the medical center. That means less time, and free parking, woohoo! It also means I'm seeing another doctor - Dr. Patel is still coordinating my care, but she doesn't have rights at this hospital yet, so I'm seeing her colleague. He's nice enough. I do still see her occasionally though.

2. The meds I'm receiving are much easier to tolerate. Before, I was receiving 4 drugs, and now I'm just getting 2 of those. So, my body is used to them. Both of them are smart therapies, meaning they target and block the HER2 receptors. I learned last week that the only normal cells in the body with these receptors are breast, heart, and gut cells. So, the main two side effects are digestive woes, which have been MUCH easier to manage than with all 4 meds, and a low risk of a heart issue. That means, I'm getting an echo every 3 months to check my heart valve/pumping function. If they see that there's a problem, then I just take a break from the meds and it will go back to normal, and then I can resume the meds.

I'll be starting radiation next week, and honestly, I'm just ready. Ready to get started so I can get it over with. I'm most concerned about the logistics of driving into Houston every single day. The appointments should be quick - less than 30 minutes - and I'll receive my treatment at a facility that has free parking, so that's nice. I've got a sweet babysitter in my neighborhood that Luke is warming up to visiting, plus a couple of friends who have offered their help as backup sitters.

So, that's what's going on with me right now.

What's Next?

So, it's been nearly 3 weeks since my last chemo infusion (and my last post), and the question I get asked most is: "What's next for you?" So... Here's the scoop.

Maintenance Infusions

I'll continue receiving infusions every 3 weeks, for the remainder of a year. But, they'll be much easier to tolerate.

Up to now, I was receiving 4 meds at each infusion: 2 chemo drugs, and 2 smart drugs. I'll continue receiving just the smart drugs for the remainder of a year. 

All cells, or maybe just all breast cells, have a certain receptor on them called HER2 Receptor. This attracts a protein, also called HER2, which tells the call to divide. Normal cells have 2 or so receptors, but HER2++ c cells have a lot of them, so they attract a lot of the protein, and divide much more rapidly. This makes this type of c more aggressive, but doctors are really smart, and they have medications that block these receptors, essentially turning off the division mechanism. So, if the cells can't divide, the c can't continue to grow and spread. Yay!

Plus, since these meds are so smart, they don't have nearly the amount of side effects that chemo meds have, because they're targeting only the c cells, rather than all fast-growing cells. I'm told I can expect some tummy troubles, but nothing like I've been experiencing. Double yay!

Radiation

Another thing coming up is radiation. I've already met the radiation oncologist, and I'm waiting on insurance to approve my treatment so I can get it scheduled, which should happen maybe this coming week.

The first step in that process (well, second, after my initial consult last week), is a planning appointment. This involves using a CT scan to map out my body and the zones they want to target, plus the nearby organs they want to miss. Then about a week later, I will start receiving the radiation. I'll have 6 weeks of 5 sessions per week. 

They target the entire breast area (because a mastectomy cannot remove 100% of the breast tissue), the armpit (because of that one pesky lymph node) plus another small area nearby that "c likes to go to next if it's going somewhere else."

Side effects should be minimal: 

-Redness that looks like a sunburn, but doesn't hurt.

-Potential skin breakdown, since the skin nearest the incision is very thin and new. If this happens, and I think it's rare, I think we just take a couple days off and be more aggressive with what cream I need to use on the area.

-Some fatigue, more toward the end, but nothing like chemo fatigue.

Some questions I've gotten (or had myself) about radiation:

Q: Is radiation necessary? 

A: It's necessary because with lymph+, hormone+, HER2++ c, the standard of care is surgery, chemo, radiation, hormone therapy. It is a proven treatment, not experimental. 

Q: Do they do a scan of some sort first to see exactly what we are radiating, if there's still c there, etc?

A: The areas areas I talked about above are the standard places to radiate in cases like mine, so they don't need to do a "look for more c" type of scan first.

Q: Is radiation dangerous to other organs, like your lungs?

A: That's what the CT scan is for. It allows them to minimize the radiation to other areas. For example, only 2-3% of the lung, right on the edge, will receive any radiation at all. None will hit my heart, esophagus, or any other important stuff in that area.

Q: How does radiation work, and what's the difference between chemo and radiation?

A: Chemo is medicine that I received by infusion. Picture an IV bag, but instead of a regular needle, it goes into the port in my chest, near my collar bone. (If you ever wanna see it, I can show you. It's not gruesome.) 

Radiation, on the other hand, is like... Laser beams, I guess. They aim the machine at the targeted areas and blast it. It does two things, and I can't take credit for this analogy - it's courtesy of the Radiation PA, who was great at explaining things. So, radiation kills any "seeds" that might be trying to take root in that area. It also changes the environment, making it inhospitable to growing anything new. So kind of like the opposite of fertilizing a garden.

Hormone Therapy

This is a pill for 5 years,  suppresses estrogen and progestin, and that's about all I know about that. I think I start it after I finish the smart drugs, so next summer.

Reconstruction Surgeries

About 6 months after radiation, I'll have my first reconstruction surgery. This involves taking a section of abdominal tissue (think: tummy tuck), and using that to construct a new breast. The procedure is called DIEP Flap Reconstruction, if you care to google, but I probably wouldn't do a lot of googling if I were you. Recovery is about 3 months. 

Then, we will talk about phase two surgery, which will be for symmetry (think: boob job, ha). The recovery for that one is much easier, more like 4-6 weeks or so I think.

Ok, that got really long. If you have more questions about what's next, please ask - I don't mind sharing details!

In the meantime, I may not be posting a whole lot because I'M BUSY FEELING LIKE A PERSON AGAIN!! 

I Rang the Bell!

Today was my final chemo infusion! I still have, I dunno, maybe a year left on my journey to getting fully finished and back to normal life, but chemo is the worst of the process, I think.

A big celebration at infusion centers is to ring a bell, surrounded by nurses and staff cheering for you. It was surreal and magical and a great way to close this chapter.

Beside the Bell is this poem, which I read before ringing.

Ring this bell

Three times well

Its toll to clearly say,

My treatment's done

This course is run

And I am on my way!

I got a little teary halfway through. Dad got a lot teary, but I'm so glad he was here with me!

Here are a few pictures of the day:

 Six treatments, in the books!

Getting ready to ring.

I also got a certificate that says I completed my chemo treatment.

Hugs from Dad, who has always been my biggest cheerleader.

I know I already said so on Facebook, but I couldn't have gotten here without my friends and family giving me SO much help and kindness and support!

A merry heart...

A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.

That is one of the earliest memory verses I can recall memorizing. There was a song we sang... A merry hea-a-art, does good like a meeee-dicine, and like a meeee-dicine, is a merry heart! 

Anyway. I'm feeling great this week, so my heart is pretty merry. It's funny how I can let my physical feelings dictate my emotional state, when really, I need to make it the other way around. But that's a post for another day.

Today, I wanted to brag - I got the results from last week's echo, and it's filled with a bunch of medical hubbub, but one word is repeated over and over with respect to each thingamajig they examined on my heart: NORMAL. I'm no medical expert, but I know that normal heart function is what we are going for, so, HOORAY!

I'm getting ready for my last chemo treatment Monday, and honestly, I'm dreading it - round 5 was the worst as far as how bad I felt and how long I felt bad, so I'm not ready to sink down to that low again... But, it's the last one, so, HOORAY again!! I think you can do just about anything when you know there's an end to it.

And to celebrate, we are going on a little vacation. Some dear friends have family connections to a pair of cabins on a small private lake near Broken Bow, OK. They've invited us and another couple, along with all the kiddos, for a long weekend at the end of this month, and we are all super excited. It's been quite a while since we've all gotten together, and it'll be great to just unplug and relax for the weekend with good friends!

Five down, one to go!

Today was chemo day 5! One left, y'all, woohoo!

I'm currently holding down the couch, after some delicious pizza a friend brought over. It's so nice when food tastes good, and makes me dread the period when everything is just kinda icky. Except for sweets, they're usually reliably edible, ha!

So anyway. Today I learned:

I'll have an echo to check on my heart every 3 months for the remainder of a year, because the two smart drugs, Herceptin and Perjeta, can mess with the pumping functionality of your heart. So I had one before I started, and I'll have one next week, and then continue on a 3 month schedule. This "damage" if there is any, wouldn't be permanent - take a break from the meds and the heart goes back to normal and then you can start again. But I'm believing God that my heart will be pumping perfectly at each and every checkup!

The Physical Therapist came while I was getting my infusions. She did some measurements for a baseline, and checked my range of motion (which is limited and pain shoots down my arm when I reach up for things). Then she gave me some stretches to do to help. She also identified that I have some scar tissue that creates a sort of band from my armpit down my arm. This is what is causing the pain. So, I'll put a hot pack on and then massage it every day, followed by the aforementioned stretches, and that should help considerably. I also have a full PT appointment next week, and I'm assuming they'll walk me through actually doing some stretches.

Oh, and maybe TMI, a (negative) pregnancy test. Just a standard thing, not that it was suspected, but it's super important to not expand the family because the chemo is pretty terrible for babies. And, the hormone changes from a pregnancy would be pretty bad for me, too... So, the Rendon family is complete, y'all. I mean, it was anyway, because God gave me two hands and two boys and I don't believe in coincidences. But definitely for sure complete now, because more babies just wouldn't be safe. In case you were wondering, ha.

Um... I think that's all that was new today. I had my favorite nurse so far - he was chatty and funny and made the day really pleasant. All my nurses have been nice, but he was the best so far :)

Chemo is funny.

They tell you ahead of time that things will taste funny. Maybe metallic.

Funny and metallic are still edible flavors. Maybe not pleasant, but edible.

This "flavor" is, to be polite, not edible. It's kind of bitter. Kind of rotten. Makes your mouth pucker - which metal does also, so maybe that's why they say that?

Anyway, this is not a complaining post, honest. I just got sidetracked.

All that to say, it's often very hard to find something edible, because one bite will be good, and the very next bite is bad, so it makes you a little nervous for each bite. That means I get a little adventurous sometimes, or it means I eat the same thing over and over again even if it's not the best choice. 

One such "reliable" option is a Hot N Spicy McChicken Sandwich from McDonald's. The funny thing about my tastes, though, is that they aren't always the same as you expect. See, the Hot N Spicy is this little chicken patty sandwich that's kind of spicy, but nothing to write home about, and then I get it plain and dry with a slice of cheese.

Except... The chemo turns  that "slightly spicy" into an inferno. 

We are talking, two glasses of water to get through the sandwich. One tiny bite of sandwich, french fry french fry french fry, breathe some fire, chug some water, repeat.

And the funniest part? 

It's so spicy, it makes my ears burn.

I'm not even kidding you, I feel like those cartoons where the steam comes out of their ears. Its like they're ringing, but you can't hear anything. And drinking water doesn't solve burning in the ears, just so you know.

It's not terribly unpleasant, but it is certainly strange!

And sadly, there are still some bites that have that chemo taste. But mostly, I can't taste anything because of the burn, so I can eat the whole meal, and that's a win!

(Nevermind the reflux that rears its head a little later... But like I said, this isn't supposed to be a complaining post!)

I write. Sometimes.

Mostly I write to cope. I've been coping well, so not much to write. I also have a lot to say at bedtime, but I don't let myself write then because sleep is one of God's greatest gifts. Am I right, Mamas?

Anyway.

I'm writing today... To cope. Usually I don't get bogged down in the why's, and the how am I gonna do this, and I try super de duper hard to just look forward and onward and upward, because, to paraphrase someone who knows me well, I am optimistic as &+#*, right?

So... In an effort to regain my optimism this morning, I turned on my YouTube playlist called Songs of Truth, which has exactly two songs, because I have great intentions and less than stellar follow through.

Song number one - Reckless Love. If you haven't heard it, you must listen at least 6 times on repeat, then come back and continue reading.

There's no Shadow you won't light up

Mountain you won't climb up

Coming after me

There's no wall you won't tear down 

 Lie you won't tear down

Coming after me

Whoa. I love this song, mainly because each time I hear it, I focus in on a different part (hence my requirement for you to go listen 6 times before reading this).

Today...

There are a lot of lies that need tearing down for me. Lies that I try oh so hard not to listen to, but they're whispering to me anyway. 

I'm not going to tell you the lies humming around in my head, because I don't want to give them any more power than they already want, but I'm going to share the sweet sweet words that God gives me to tear those lies down.

I am not alone.

I am strong enough with his help.

None of this is a surprise to God.

I can do this.

I am worth this fight.

God gives good gifts.

Y'all. C sucks. Chemo sucks. It takes more from me than I want to admit. Dignity. Energy. Experiences. Strength.

But oh my. There is no Shadow of sadness or despair that God won't light up. Chemo is not a mountain too high for him to climb and reach me. There are no walls strong enough to keep him from me and there are certainly no lies big enough to make me believe them long enough to keep my God from me.

Why?

Because, HE IS COMING AFTER ME. 

Like, he's right behind me, gently ushering me through the door with a gentle hand on my back.

Or he's boosting me up onto a saddle I'm not tall enough to reach.

Or when I'm in despair and I'm hiding in my feelings and under the covers and just feel like I can't, he's running after me, coming after me, to lift me up and dispell the lies and shadows that try so dang hard to sneak in and find a foothold.

Not today, Satan, not today chemo, not today c.

My God gives good gifts.

But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!

2 Chronicles 20:17

PS, I've received 4 treatments, and I'm wallowing in the worst couple of days of this cycle and then should start to feel better any minute now. Then, a couple of good weeks and only 2 more cycles to go!!

And another PS... That verse says don't be discouraged. So I wanted to make sure I wasn't being discouraged, and see what I should be instead. This is gooooood.