Confidence

Confidence

Sanctus Real

I’m not a warrior

I’m too afraid to lose

I feel unqualified for what you’re calling me to

But Lord with your strength

I’ve got no excuse

'Cause broken people are exactly who you use

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence

You took a shepherd boy

And made him a King

So I’m gonna trust you and give you everything

I’ll be a conquerer

'Cause you fight for me

I’ll be a champion claiming your victory

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence

I’m gonna sing and shout and shake the walls

I won’t stop until I see 'em fall

Gonna stand up, step out when you call

Jesus, Jesus

I’m gonna sing and shout and shake the walls

I won’t stop until I see 'em fall

Gonna stand up, step out when you call

Jesus

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence, yeah

Give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den

Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness

Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense

So I can face my giants with confidence

I'll face my giants with confidence

Songwriters: Matthew Ross Armstrong / Jordan Michael Bailey / Tony W. Wood

Confidence lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

This song came on my Pandora playlist while I was walking this evening, and holy wow, it spoke to me. I don't have adequate words to say about it besides wow, but I had to share.

Today went really smoothly. I started the day with blood work - they calculate dosage for each medication based on your kidney function, for every round. After the labs came back, they gave me some pre-meds for nausea and to prevent allergic reactions. Then, we did the two biotherapies (Herceptin and Perjeta) followed by the two chemotherapies (Taxotere and Carboplatin). H was 90 minutes, and the rest were 60 minutes. In between each, they flushed the lines, so that added a few minutes. Overall, it was an 8-4:30 day. But, I had a nice bright room!

James went with me. We watched some TV, and then played a fun card game called Odin's Race. He won one and then we tied one, and then it was time to go home!

I was so nervous last night I could barely sleep. But today was really easy. Honestly, the worst part was removing the bandage over my port at the end! 

I came home, ate a delicious dinner, relaxed a bit, then walked a mile - which is quite a feat since I've been really sedentary since surgery. It was very slow, but I still managed it! They told me today that walking every single day, at least 30 minutes, is vital - it helps the meds work, helps my body's healthy cells recover, helps alleviate side effects, helps my mental state... So, walk I will!

Days 2-4 have the potential to be the roughest in terms of side effects, but Dr. Patel has said over and over that this combo of drugs is predictable and manageable, so that is what I am praying - join me!

Chemo Day 1 down, 5 more to go! 

After today, I feel like I've totally got this under control. If my attitude changes, won't you please remind me of that feeling and lift me up again? Your kindness really does make a difference to me!