Friday, September 27, 2019

Pinktober

I learned a new word today.

Pinktober (n): the month of October that is flooded with pink in an effort to raise awareness of breast cancer. Also known as Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

It's not Pinktober quite yet, but already I'm having some mixed feelings about the, ah, festivities, so I wanted to share some thoughts.

Pinktober comes with shirts and posters, sports teams in pink socks, and Facebook messages. But mostly, everywhere I look, I see pink ribbons.

(For the love of all things pink, if you send me a FB message asking my bra color to raise bc awareness, I'm deleting you. I'm plenty aware of breast cancer, and if I'm even wearing a bra, it's probably uncomfortable at the moment because I'm still a bit tender from having new boobs built.)

Sorry, I got sidetracked there. Anyway.

This journey of mine is a roller coaster of emotions.

Some days, I see a pink ribbon and want to pump my fist in the air and shout, Man, I kicked breast cancer's ass!

And other days, I see a pink ribbon and want to burn it.

A pink ribbon can be a tribute, a way of honoring how far I've come.

A pink ribbon can be a slap in my face, a reminder of just what all I've been through in the last 18 months.

A pink ribbon can say, Hey, I see you struggling with this journey, but I'm here for you, I'm walking with you.

A pink ribbon can say, Hey, I see what you're walking through, and I don't really feel comfortable actually being there for you, so I'm gonna put on this ribbon and then I'll feel good about myself for being "supportive" of you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... Think about that pink ribbon when you're putting it on, whether it's on your shirt or on your profile. Don't do it because the cool kids are doing it. Use it as a tool to raise actual awareness.

Breast cancer is a real disease. It affects young women as well as older women. It is a life-altering circumstance that nobody wants to face. And it happens to 1 in 8 women. Check your girls, girls.

One final thought: There is a huge difference between raising awareness of the disease, and raising funds for research. Awareness means you know about the disease: risk factors, warning signs, detection. Pink ribbons do not, by and large, raise much (if any) money for breast cancer research. Most of the products sold around this time are pure marketing gimmicks, with pennies on the dollar going to actual research. Before you buy that crap, please do your research. Don't waste your money and insult my journey with "save the tatas" bracelets or whatever this year's catchy slogan is.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

A Little Longer...

Today, I saw the PA at Dr. Speigel's office for a check-up. I'm 5.5 weeks post-op, and here's the scoop.

My abdominal incision that had the little delayed healing spot? That's all better! The whole incision is looking fantastic - definitely not like a month old scar, that's for sure! I still have to walk flexed for 2 more weeks though, because if I stand up now, the scar will stretch and widen, so they want me to wait til 8 weeks post-op before I stand up fully. Or rather, start to stand up - I can already tell it's going to be a slow process.

Also at 8 weeks, I can start sleeping in my bed again, instead of the recliner. That will also be a transition too - one week with 2 pillows behind my head and knees, then a week with one pillow each, and then normal.

Another 8 week change is that I will be able to start using Silagen silicone scar therapy sheets. They're supposed to be amazing.

Pretty soon, I will get set up with the physical therapy group at The Women's Hospital, and that'll be twice a week for 6 weeks. That is for range of motion in my arms. They'll also do some cold laser therapy on some areas of hardness in my breast. The hardness is from the bleeding I had that required the second surgery, if you remember that. I still have some bruising from that episode, and where the bruising is, is hard... It's softening up, but the laser (which doesn't hurt) will help it improve faster.

Another thing they did today was remove the glue (dermabond) covering the breast incisions. On the left side, there are 2 tiny dots of "delayed wound healing" so I've got to use the special dressing I was using on my abdomen, there. It really looks like there were two little scabs that stuck to the glue instead of my body, so hopefully those clear up quickly.

And, that's pretty much all the news for today. I was pretty disappointed to not be cleared to stand up, but I love that she explained why, so I can be patient.

I'm seeing a trend of things taking a little longer than planned at each step in the process. 6 days in the hospital, instead of 4. 8 weeks walking flexed, instead of 4-6. So, I'm kind of starting to prepare myself for the possibility that I might not get to have my Phase 2 surgery before the end of the year.

Phase 2 is a second, planned surgery for symmetry and scar revision - Phase 1 is the big one, and it's meant to be a foundation, not a finished product. Phase 2 is always at least 4 months after Phase 1, longer if needed.

I was really hoping to have it by the end of the year, because all of my medical expenses are covered by at 100% by insurance right now. If it's after 1/1/2020, then we start over and I have to pay a big chunk of the cost. Which is manageable, but obviously if it's avoidable, then that's better! But my priority is the best outcome, and I fully trust my doctor to make that decision when the time comes. I will see her next on 11/21, and she will decide then if we want to keep our pencilled-in date of 12/11, or push it back.

That's what's new with me. If you're following the weather, you may know it's been bad down by us, but we've stayed safe and dry and I think it's about finished. Be praying for others in my area that flooded - some who also flooded during Harvey.