There's Always Something...

Well, I was all set to publish Part 2 of my MOPS talk today, but something came up. There's always something, right?

So yesterday, I was scheduled to receive my Herceptin/Perjeta infusion (second try for this round), but my blood work still wasn't right, so we had to delay it again. The plan is to try again Monday.

I have questions outstanding to my primary oncologist, but that's neither here nor there.

I was SO frustrated when the doctor told me we had to postpone AGAIN. He walked away and, to quote my friend Mrs. Billie, my eyes leaked a bit. Cancer is just so freaking inconvenient, amiright? It just gets in the way of everything.

So, I'm leaving the hospital after my non-infusion. A nice lady asked me which floor I needed on the elevator. Then she asked me how my day was going. I briefly considered complaining, but just said it was alright and asked how hers was. I'll admit, I had kind of a "woe is me" tone to my voice, but I didn't say anything else. 

She reflexively answered that it was fine, or some other semi-positive, non-thinking response we give strangers by default.

Then: My husband is in ICU.

Oh, I'm so sorry, I told her.

She continued: But they took the breathing tube out. He's breathing on his own now.

That's wonderful news, I told her. That's an improvement, a big step!

But there was more to the story: He tried to commit suicide, she continued.

I was absolutely floored. I told her I was so sorry. 

It happens, she said.

As if it was a frequent occurrence.

A non-event.

Forgetting your lunch at home, happens.

Getting a flat tire, happens.

Being late to the dentist, happens.

But your husband attempting suicide? It doesn't just happen.

Except, for her, it happens. I don't know if it has happened before, or if it will happen again. But my goodness, my heart just broke for her. I had no words, and I awkwardly hugged her.

And I realized, more completely than possibly ever before, that there's always, always, always something to be thankful for.

My family is healthy and happy. I am winning this battle, navigating this inconvenient detour in the middle of my own happy, healthy life. I am loved and supported by SO many. My daily needs are met. I could go on and on. There is so so much to be thankful for.

And you know what?

She might have found something to be thankful for as well. "My husband is going to be alright," she might be thinking. "It could be worse: we could be facing cancer, like that poor lady on the elevator."

You never really know what roads others are traveling. And you never know if your road looks better, or worse, than theirs.

But regardless of what road you're on, or where you're at on that road, there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Choose to see those things today.