Made and Remade

There's a verse that has been important to me for years.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Another version says "your workmanship is marvelous" and another version finishes with "it simply amazes me to think about it."

You could say that I have always had a pretty healthy body image. Sure, I had my hangups, but overall, I never went through that stage that so many young girls go through where they hate their bodies. And as I grew into a woman, I kept that self-confidence - in large part due to the above verse being spoken over me from a young age. Sometimes there were extra pounds I didn't want, or more cushion than I would have liked, or I didn't feel comfortable in certain styles, but overall, I was okay with my body, because I recognized that it was God's masterpiece and his temple (1 Corinthians 6:19). Disrespecting my own body was disrespectful to God.

And then.... I had a diagnosis about that body. And surgeries that, shall we say, modified it significantly.

I have had a very good opportunity for some body-hatred. I have scars - one of which is really big and red and ugly. Some things are missing, some things were repaired but don't look anything like the original. And a whole lot of things certainly don't feel like the original. "Foreign" is a word that sometimes comes to mind when I look at myself.

I could hate what I see in the mirror. I could resent the changes to my body. And some days, I am tempted to. But it's a choice - I choose what I will think about my body.

Would you ever say to a friend that her body is ugly? Would YOU tell ME that? No, you'd remind me that I am alive, and healthy, and thriving despite these changes. So that's exactly the sort of stuff that I tell myself.

I like to memorize important scriptures, but I also like to personalize them. I'm not saying that God's Word isn't already perfect, but it feels more applicable to me and my life when I personalize it. Or when I look at different translations, or sometimes even combine different ones.... it's sort of like seeing an old, very pretty, but really snuggly-looking quilt sitting up high on a shelf. You could dust it off and hang it on a quilt hanger, and then you'd be able to admire it much better. Or, you can grab that blanket, take it to the couch, put on a good movie, and really snuggle down and enjoy it. That's what I'm talking about doing with these scriptures. I'm not preaching to you, here, and telling you that you have to do this. I'm just telling you what I do in my own life, to make God's Word come alive in my own life. So that's my disclaimer.

Remember the verse above? Maybe scroll back up and reread it; I'll wait.

Ready?

Here's how it looks to me, now.

I will continuously praise You, God, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made and remade.

Your workmanship is marvelous, it simply amazes me to think about it!