I love to tell my boys stories. Sometimes, they're stories from when I was a little girl, and sometimes they're made up on the spot based on a topic of their choosing. Occasionally, I'll tell a story about them, maybe something they did that day, or a behavior that they need to stop or start. My stories always start with 'Once upon a time,' and end with 'happily ever after.' So today, here's a story for you. Spoiler alert: I can't end it with 'happily ever after' because it's far from over, but I think it's far enough along that I can share with you.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Woman? Lady? Whatever. Once upon a time, there was a mom/wife/friend. Whatever, again. Once upon a time, there was me. It's a story about me, okay? Moving on. (I promise, my kids' stories are way better than this.)
So anyway. Once upon a time, there I was, kicking along through life. Occasionally attempting various methods of self-improvement, like people these days are prone to do, but generally living a good life. I was doing my wifely things, and my motherly things, and going to church like I was supposed to.
One day, way back in September 2018, I won a little contest on my friend Jami Lee's disciplined living Facebook page. The prize was an e-course called Make Over Your Mornings, by Crystal Paine.
If you know me, you know that I'm not much of a morning person. I finally downloaded the materials in December of that year. When I got to the part about setting goals and such, well... I flunked out. Who flunks out of a 14-day e-course? This girl, right here. (Sorry, Jami Lee.)
The main reason that I gave up is because it was all about getting up a little earlier to start your day in an intentional way, and I just wasn't sold on the idea that I needed to get up earlier. I LOVE my sleep, especially the sleep that happens in the mornings, because I'm a night owl. So, I couldn't get over myself enough to see the value in getting up earlier, and so I didn't.
But the funny thing is, I began waking up earlier than my alarm, on a consistent basis. And staying in bed, and often getting really grumpy that I wasn't able to go back to sleep. Remember, I really love my morning sleep.
So, in April 2019, I went on a ladies retreat with my church, Second Baytown. On Sunday morning, I woke up really early, and decided to just get up and start my day. In the pre-dawn light, I walked around the lake to the pier, turned on some praise music, and did some yoga as the sun came up over the water. It was a really beautiful moment, and in that moment, the realization hit me: God has been pursuing me, all this time.
I'd love to tell you I went home and began a beautiful and spiritual and productive morning routine after that special moment on the pier. And I did... for exactly 9 days spread over the course of the next month, and never more than 3 in a row.
And then I flunked out, again. The God of the universe was pursuing me, and I flunked out. I consistently woke up before my alarm, and I rolled over, and didn't even go back to sleep, I just chose not to pursue Him back.
You know what, though? God is so faithful. And persistent. And patient. And He continued to pursue me, to gently push me toward wanting to have that relationship with Him. What I mean is, He continued to wake me up, to give me little hints that I needed to get up and spend time with Him.
Fast forward to January 2020. Yeah, last month. Crystal Paine was having a sale on her e-courses, and I forwarded the email to Rissa, who decided to do Make Over Your Morning. And she peer-pressured me to do it with her.
A quick side note, here. Rissa is also not a morning person. Possibly less of a morning person than I am, because I have small children who sort of force me to be somewhat functional in the mornings, and she does not. And yet, here she is convincing me to give the course another go. God's got a sense of humor, you know.
So finally, finally, I am actually working through the course. I'm on day 13, although I've been working at it for a month, give or take a little. I'm getting up early most days during the week, and spending some time in the Bible. I'm not 100% consistent, and some days I get up early but things like dog puke keep me from sitting down to quiet time with my Bible. I'e still never made it more than 3 days in a week. But.... I am pursuing this as a discipline, a change to my normal, because I know that the reward for giving up a little of myself will be to see a little bit of Jesus in return. I am pursuing this, because I have been pursued, consistently and faithfully, by a good, good Father who wants a relationship with me. How can I continue to run from that?
Hear me on this: I am absolutely not telling you this story to brag on myself. It hasn't even been the requisite 21 days required for a new habit to stick, and I haven't even managed a full week's worth of mornings yet! I'm telling you this for accountability for me. I'm telling you this to encourage you. I don't know what your life looks like, but I know that God, our heavenly father, and the creator of the universe, loves you. He knows you, but He wants to know you more, and He wants you to know Him.
Resources:
Jami Lee's Disciplined Living
Jami Lee's Disciplined Living
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