The Path Of Life

You will show me the path of life,

In your presence is fullness of joy;

At your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11 AMP

This is one of those verses that I cling to, especially that first part in times of uncertainty.

I realized the other day that I never shared the story of how I came to have the treatment team that I have, and it's a really good story - a God story, if you will. Definitely a time when God showed me the path of life.

It was January 2018, and I'd found a breast lump. At my friend Holly's urging, I made an appointment with my OBGYN, Dr. Hall, in February. We were all relatively sure it was just a clogged milk duct, as I'd just finished nursing Luke, but she said it'd be best to go have a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound just to be sure.

In early March, I had an appointment with the Breast Center at Houston Methodist San Jacinto, aka the hospital in Baytown. It's a small hospital, but it's close, so that's where I went. I showed up after a MOPS event with Luke in tow, and they wouldn't see me because he couldn't go in the back due to the radiation risk. That had never crossed my mind when scheduling the appointment. I hadn't thought I was worried about it, but I left the office in tears because, as it turns out, I was worried deep down, and I just wanted to get it over with and have them tell me it was nothing.

So I went back the following week at a time when James was off work to watch the boys. That was March 9, and that day's events are a story for another day. But when they told me it was probably cancer and that I needed a biopsy, I scheduled it there, but then decided that if they were saying the c-word, I needed to be at MD Anderson.

I had my biopsy at MDA on Monday, March 19, and got the dreaded phone call on Wednesday. They told me the news, and we scheduled an appointment for an afternoon two weeks later, on April 2. The plan was that I'd meet an oncologist, surgeon, plastic surgeon, and radiation oncologist all back to back on the same day and figure out exactly how to move forward.

This is where it gets good, so stick with me.

In the meantime, I went back to Dr. Hall, my sweet OBGYN, on Friday the 23rd to have my Mirena (IUD with hormones) removed. She had been out on vacation that week, but when she saw the report from my mammogram and heard what was going on, she agreed to come in early on Friday to see me - she normally doesn't see patients until 9:00, but she saw me at 8:30 and stayed with me for quite a while, talking through the whole process, and discussing surgery and treatment and doctors and such.

She said, I know you already have your appointment set up with MDA. But I've got a friend who is a breast oncologist at Houston Methodist, and I really think that you would like her. Here, let me call her.

Ring, ring, Hi Tejal, this is Hailey, and I've got a patient here with me......

They talked technical stuff on speakerphone for a few minutes, and then Dr. Patel (aka Tejal, my obgyn's friend) said her office would call me back in half an hour or so to get me an appointment. So before I knew it, I was scheduled for a second opinion for the following Tuesday morning, which was technically before my first opinion at MDA. I was amazed at how fast they were able to get me an appointment!

I felt really optimistic by all of this, but I didn't do such a great job of explaining it all to James, because he was quite confused at why we were even having a second opinion, especially because I'd been adamant that I wanted treatment at MDA, and also there was the fact that we hadn't even had our MDA consult... I remember his exact words in Dr. Patel's waiting room: "Tell me again why we're having a second opinion before we even have the first opinion...?" But he's a good sport and went along with this new plan.

So Tuesday morning rolls around and we have our appointment with Dr. Patel. She explained SO much about my diagnosis, what each aspect and unknown word meant, what the treatment plan looked like, what if this happened, and what if that happened. She answered every question I had, and a hundred questions that I didn't know I had. She took notes as she talked, writing down the statistics and the big words that she was throwing out, and drew pictures to explain... And then handed me 3 pages of notes at the end. When we were finished, James looked at me and said, I can see now why we came here!

Cool, right? I'm not done.

When I'd seen Dr. Hall the previous week, she had recommended a couple of plastic surgeons that are leaders in their field, including one Dr. Aldona Spiegel. Dr. Patel encouraged me to make an appointment with her, just for a consult, even though I wasn't sure which team I wanted to use. Her office helped make an appointment for the following Monday morning, which was the same day as my initial MDA consult.

Dr. Spiegel is a woman to be reckoned with. She's confident but kind, matter-of-fact but compassionate. She drew pictures on the paper that covers the exam table to explain the DIEP procedure, which is the current leading edge reconstructive technique. Many doctors around the world do this procedure, but she is a pioneer in reinnervation, where they attempt to reconnect the severed nerves from the chest wall to the new tissue to provide some sensation. At one point in the consult, she asked who my breast surgeon was. (It takes a breast surgeon to remove the old tissue, and a plastic surgeon to rebuild things.)

I replied that I hadn't met with anyone, but that Dr. Patel had recommended Dr. So-and-So or Dr. Lim.

Dr. Spiegel pursed her lips into a sort-of smile, and said with a nod, "I work with Dr. Lim, mmhmm."

There are some parts of this journey that I'll forget - some I've already forgotten - but the sound of her "mmhmm" and the purse of her lips and her single nod is etched in my memory.

Since it didn't seem like much of a choice, and Dr. Lim was already highly recommended to me, I said that sounded fine to me. Dr. Spiegel said I'd need to meet with her, and her staff would coordinate that appointment. A staff member came back into my exam room a couple minutes later and said, "Get dressed, Dr. Lim can see you right now, and if you have more questions that come up, just call!"

So minutes later, I was walking into another waiting room in the same building, and was called back almost immediately. Dr. Lim gave me the rundown of surgery (in which I fully broke down into uncontrollable sobs when she left the room).

I learned later that Dr. Lim hadn't even been scheduled to be in the office that day, but had popped in for a particularly difficult consult, and agreed to see me right then before she left again. If I'd been 15 minutes earlier or later, it wouldn't have happened.

Now, remember, we still haven't had our "first" opinion, with MDA - that was scheduled for later that same day. So we grabbed some lunch and headed down the road to MDA. The four doctors that were selected for me (oncologist, breast surgeon, plastic surgeon, and radiation oncologist) came into the room together to meet me and a nurse rattled off my diagnosis, then they all left the room. One by one they shuffled back into the room and out of the room, showing a few pictures and telling me the treatment plan - the same treatment plan that Dr. Patel had walked me through, but with MUCH less detail. While I am sure that they're all quality doctors, I hated that I had no choice in who my doctors were, especially the plastic surgeon. I have always viewed reconstruction as the end of this journey, and I didn't fully understand all the stuff in the middle, so that's where I was focusing. And to just have a doctor assigned to me... well, it wasn't very comforting.

When the first doctor left the room, James looked at me and said, I see now why we went to Dr. Patel. Before the consult was even over, we both knew in our knower that we'd be using the Houston Methodist treatment team.

And that, my friends, is the God-story of how I came to have the treatment team I have!